Finally Living
I am a new immigrant, I've moved to Canada to be with my husband and build a family together, but little I knew that I will be trapped in an abusive relationship that fast. After delivering my first baby, the abuse started to be more often and worse, during which I was visited regularly by HBHC family visitor, who introduced me to the term 'shelter' which I wasn't aware of before mentioning to her that there might be an emotional and verbal abuse. few days later, my ex husband hit me, and my five months old child was only few inches away from where I was sitting while I was physically attacked by my ex. I called the police that night and he was detained. But I was very scared to go back to my house, I decided i will go to a shelter, because I had no friends or family to go to.
The time that I've stayed at the shelter felt like going from a bad situation to another. It was a dark time for me, but I had to stay strong and not going back to an abusive relationship. First, it was a strike of luck whether you get the really considerate hard worker, or the one who would only give you puppy eyes when you felt down and needed reassurance, and then I had to face the shelter manager whom I felt discriminated by her through her remarks and attitude towards me, and most importantly the lack of resources that the shelter had to enable women to stand on their own was remarkably disturbing. And the workers' obvious preferences to certain people or children was also challenging at times. Because all what I wanted was to find me and my baby a decent apartment to live in, and I was in the hunt for places almost anywhere with my baby on my side the whole time, and since they don't have an internet connection at the shelter, i had to go for the internet connection hunt first, I was new to Canada and don't have any knowledge about where to go, and where to start, thankfully another resident helped me through all of that. the hardest time for me was when there was only 10 days left for me at the shelter, and i've asked the shelter manager to extend my stay because I was serious about finding an apartment (not another shelter) and she refused, while extended two other residents who have been there longer than I was.
Fortunately before the 60 days at the shelter were over, I got the interview call from Armagh after sending my application to them a week earlier before they called, arriving to the location, I felt at ease and loved the whole idea behind this establishment, how they rebuild your self esteem before send you back to the world again, how they really genuinely care about the women and understand how it's sensitive to those women to find the support first and hold their hand step by step until they feel ready to go their paths. I was excited about my fresh new start, when I moved to their facility in October 2012.
It was the boost that I needed, the separate apartments system, the 'go shopping' in the basement, internet access and a computer room with the printer, a daycare, my own home phone number where my family overseas can reach me anytime. The whole apartment was furnished to make me feel home and very welcomed, which was the opposite of the shelter. At Armagh I felt I am finally living and not jailed!
The team of employees where amazing, very professional, caring, sensitive to my problems and my feelings they heard me and every word I said, I didn't feel rushed or not mattered, and not even a tiny bit discriminated. They were also extremely knowledgeable, whatever thought and problem or decision making I had they've guided me to the exact path. And when I only needed reassurance and support they offered it, or even better they had a counselor who was visiting every week. I've also benefited from the parenting program that they've held at the facility.
Armagh have truly changed my life and my son's life, they have shown me that I can be independent and I can succeed in building a new life for me and my son where I don't have to be violated.
They really cared. For each one of you Armagh team 'We truly thank you for all your support'.